An email that arrived in our inbox caught our eye after we registered for a training webinar, but forgot to attend. From the beginning, the email tried to make a personal connection with us, but despite its unconventional effort, did not end up succeeding.  Ultimately, the goal of this communication was to try and sell us on a subscription plan – and we have to say that didn’t work either!

1. Overall, the headline was catchy but it felt quite desperate.  As it goes with dating, indicating any sort of desperation up front is a no-go. The same is true for marketing: NEVER sound like your are desperate, otherwise you lose credibility.  This was a (failed) attempt to sound personable so people would feel it was a personal note.
2. Contrived “first name basis” relationship with the recipient.
3. One sentence paragraphs make the email unnecessarily long and redundant.
4. The photo with the full signature at the bottom as if it were from the author’s real email.

While this approach by Mr. Turner did make us laugh – slightly – the attempt to create intimacy in a desperate way ultimately falls flat on its face.

This illustrates the point that If you want to send a “personal” note to a mass group of people, make it short, sweet, and AVOID the one-sentence paragraphs that make this really hard to read.  Sincerity should always trump camp – we encourage you to put down your direct response hat!

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE…

Well, we had hoped that email would be the end (but in reality – they had our email address so we knew it wouldn’t be), a follow-up communication was received.

1. Maybe the first email did get a response, but since we now think this organization is spammy and they didn’t come across as sincere above – we are having a hard time believing a ton of people responded.  (Are we being too hard here?)
2. It mentions the original email he sent and the great feedback he received. We find this strange, as we would’ve offered him feedback that was a little less positive than he implies.
3. He then launches into selling 14-day trial access to his “University” program for just $1, a drastic reduction from the typical price of $1,188. With such a drastic price reduction, we wonder how good the product is in the first place!

INSIDER TAKE:

We recommend not following this example too tightly in your prospecting efforts – remember, brevity is the soul of wit and desperation is the tool of the loser. These emails are long-winded and strange, and aside from gleaning a slight amount of humor out the first one, we advise you not to emulate this.  Try humor, try personalization, try personal notes but don’t cross the line into being a joke.  And REALLY don’t discount your offer to the level that people may not take you seriously either.